DANCING WITH THE STARS - NIGHT 5

Once again, J.R. Martinez was so good I was in tears and cheering - scared the bejabbers out of Buddy and Rusty! Granted, I speak from the standpoint of someone who fell in love with the man several years ago when he started on All My Children, but is there any more attractive man on Planet Earth? What a brilliant effort tonight, once again! To the surprise of nobody, he gets my vote.

Clearly, Len isn't eating his All-Bran yet because I thought that Bruno's assessment of Carson's dance was dead on - loopy fun! I suspect that sometimes the judges expect professional quality dancing from a bunch of amateurs when they shouldn't. Anyway, he was terrific and I laughed and enjoyed the entire routine entirely!

David Arquette's mimicking of Len's tirades during rehearsal nearly caused me to choke on my hot cocoa! And his dance was excellent! Love the leather!

Ricki kind of lost the plot a little but her dance was still good and should keep her on board. Chaz Bono finally learned to forget his negative body image which has been hindering him all along and he turned in a creditable performance. Been there, did that until one memorable night (in the '80s oddly enough) when I'd had a couple of Long Island Iced Teas and hit the disco floor with a good gay friend of mine and we tore it up! All my early dance training came back and my love of movement overrode everything! After that, I danced every chance I got and lost 25 pounds in the process. Hmmmm! Maybe this old fart should consider doing that again!

Frankly, Rob Kardashian is the best of the entire Karadashian tribe, and it's a miracle he isn't a totally screwed up mess, given that he lives in a dictatorship ruled by females! I suspect Bruce Jenner deserves credit for that. But the hard work and dancing ability growth is truly praiseworthy!

Hope Solo is an arrogant bitch and I don't like her and I'd like to see her go. And that's saying a lot considering that Nancy Grace is a lawyer and I sure don't have a lot of liking for lawyers!

Does anyone agree with me that Bruno is sexy as hell? I know he's gay but damn - he's funny and can move and wow!

UPDATE: Carson Kressley is gone now, along with a lot of the sheer delightful fun! Instead that lugubrious and arrogant diva Hope Solo is still on the show. Her turn is coming! Such a pouty twit!